Issue #20: There’s too much YOU in your business
How to break the employee mindset and scale by simplifying
This is where I leave you…
Well, not you, me lovelies… I’m leaving Bucharest, the city where I was born, and have lived in for the better part of the last ten years. Moving pains is also the reason why B00ls was a little inconsistent. But, just because I’m going away, it doesn’t mean B00ls is too. No, no, we’re staying right here.
-Dude, what the fuck is this? They don’t care about your life or where you’re sending the e-mails from!
-Silence, Mad. I’m getting to the point. In 5 to 6 minutes.
As we were. I’m leaving Bucharest because it’s grown ugly. Apart from the squalor, the homeless people pissing and defecating literally everywhere, there’s an air of malaise. People have become ugly. Stressed out of their minds, always on the lookout for the mighty dollar. Uh, RON, but you get the point.
I just can’t see myself living here anymore.
Leaving Bucharest is also symbolic of my leaving behind of the Employee Mentality. For me, the capital of Romania was the epitome of the Employee Lifestyle city. This is where I got my first real job, this is where I destroyed my nerves on 13-14 hour shifts.
Moving into the freelance part of my life, I want to leave all that behind. People don’t live in Bucharest. People toil and try to survive here. Not me. Not anymore, baby.
I want to dial it back, chill and be present in my own life. As such, I’m moving closer to the mountainside and nature. Honestly, I’d rather run into an honest bear, than a jumped up corporate type, late for his *vewy* important client call.
FUCK THAT.
Bucharest is the type of place where you have to claw your way through life. I want to coast through life. But more on that in a second.
If there’s one thing that tipped the scales, it was my Budapest experience. I’m not a frequent traveler. Mainly because I’m afraid I’ll love life in another country so much… that I won’t want to come back to Romania afterward. And… what do you know… I was right.
After 4 days in Budapest, where everyone is chiller and more… human? I told my GF:
“Sorry, I’m not coming back. I’ll sleep in the park and wash dishes for a living, but there’s no way you’re getting me on that plane. Let’s figure out a way to move our business here and be done with it.”
I had half a mind to whip my dick out at the airport and pretend it was a gun, Mr. Bean style.
Sadly, a fool’s fantasy… They’d have deported me right back — “We don’t want your Romanian craziness” – they’d have said :)).
However, as soon as we got back to Bucharest, we decided on leaving. By October, we’ll be gone, destination – Brașov (great mountainside city).
Any outstanding beers, coffees and meets, cash them in now, folks.
The most important thing about this change of scenery is not about the scenery… I’m leaving behind employee mindset :)
What’s Employee Mindset?
First, it’s not really a mindset. It’s more like a feeling. A compulsion to always be on. Always be working, they say. Hustle culture. That FOMO you get when you relax instead of working. The fear that you’re wasting precious seconds, seconds that could stand between you and Success™.
Let me tell you something: my definition of success is getting rid of that fear.
That fear that whispers in my ear: “You’re not enough.”
When you start a business and still operate out of the employee mindset, you don’t really have a business. The business has you.
I was chatting to a fellow freelancer, and she told me something to the tune of:
“If I don’t start my day by working, it feels like I’m wasting it”
That’s a prime example of the Employee Mindset. First six months of my freelancing experience I was exactly like that. I was afraid that by not being always on, I was missing THAT LEAD.
The only thing I was missing was my own fucking life.
Now, I’m not going to lie to you. That dread… that anguish… that fear is still there. I treat it with a walk in the park and a coffee in the morning. I treat it with going to the gym. I treat it with reminding myself that life doesn’t simply happen to me, I make it happen.
And I treat it by writing this newsletter. Find a creative outlet, folks, is all I’m saying.
Yesterday, I read a really cool post about amateur vs investor attitude. Basically, the post said that the main difference between an investor and an amateur is the aversion or propensity towards risk.
An amateur can’t handle the insecurity of not having money/success right now. An investor knows temporary discomfort is to be expected when building something.
The problem is that the amateur is still thinking with his stomach. In Romania, where communism hasn’t yet left collective memory, and where the majority of people are poor, it’s to be somewhat expected.
Here’s my example:
Last year, I couldn’t pay for a holiday in my own country. I had to ask my family and my partner for financial help. It was tough, and I had to swallow my pride, but I did it.
This year, I was able to pay for 50% of my holiday in a foreign country. You ask me, that’s progress.
And I got to this place by being true to myself and my business. Last 6 months, I earned 1000$ per month, after taxes, by working 4-5 hour days, a mere 10 days a month (put together).
Of course, I could make a lot more money by taking on random projects and stuff I don’t believe in. But I don’t want to. I’m bringing home my previous salary in an agency by doing a third of the work and by staying true to who I am.
Working for Ukrainian content mills, porn sites, online casinos and corporations which treat me as a disposable resource?
Not my thing.
DISCLAIMER: I can afford to live life like this because I’m an incredibly lucky bastard. I’m not saying that you should take my example. But if you can… it would be a shame not to.
How you do one thing is how you do everything
Let’s get something straight.
Poor is a mentality, not a reality. - watch it, it’s worth it.
You just hit your keyboard, screamed and called me an idiot. I deserve that, but keep reading.
Apart from the situations where you are dirt poor, if you have access to running water and internet, you’re already better off than A LOT of people. I get it, some people start life really rough, and they have to claw their way through it.
Problem is… even after they get to where they are going, they keep that survivor mentality. Even if they have the money to live a comfortable life, it’s NEVER enough for them. The fear that lives at the back of their head whispers:
“But what if we go back to that? What if the phone stops ringing, and we’ll go hungry again? We can’t have that! WORK. NOW!”
And sure enough, you’ll say:
“No, Vlad. I’m just going to work my ass off, claw my way through life, amount to 10.000$ a month (or whatever amount strikes your fancy) and then I’ll relax”
See… it doesn’t really work like that.
“How you do one thing is how you do everything” basically means that the neural pathways that you feed are the neural pathways that will take hold and govern your life.
If you’ve lived all your life in survivor mentality, even when you’re not in that place anymore – that’s how you’ll live.
Here’s another example:
I have a good friend, let’s call him… Sirius.
Sirius is a very successful sound engineer. One day, he opened up to me and our gym trainer:
“I came here in my twenties. I always thought that I had to work my ass off, make something of myself, earn a lot of money and then… then I’ll be happy.
Now, at 35, I’m spent. I did all that: the money, the status, everything. And I’m still not happy.”
Sirius makes a lot of money. Dubai a couple of times a year, Catalonia and Prague in the same month kind of money.
Still… he’s gaunt, he doesn’t sleep at night, has no personal life, spends 9-10 hours in a studio by himself.
By all accounts, he could coast through life. Right now… he’s clawing through life.
He’s living in this nightmare where the phone will stop ringing, and he’ll be out of projects and A.I. will take his job.
He can afford EVERYTHING, but peace of mind.
I ask you now: is that any way to live your life?
After his heartfelt confessions, our trainer spewed this gem: “Then it means you’re not doing enough!”
Colossal idiot.
What Sirius needs to do is chill the fuck out, and re-center himself. Take himself out of survivor mode and employee mentality.
I can see he’s not there yet just by the way he exercises at the gym. Merely one month after we started, he’s using creatine and protein powder and yanking the weights. He’s at a serious risk of hurting himself because he’s not seeing progress fast enough.
He’s on the fast way towards bombarding his liver and rupturing his ligaments if he keeps going like this. But the fear is there, and it whispers: “you’re not doing enough…”
Look at your own life: how you do one thing is how you do everything.
Poor is not about how much money you have, but the way you feel about yourself. I recently exchanged messages on a post with Leela Cosgrove. Look her up, she’s a millionaire, friends with Richard Branson. She started out as dirt poor and turned herself into an entrepreneur worth millions.
Her arguments, that she repeatedly shoved in my face during our discussion, were that she made more money than me. A CEO who is worth millions compares herself with a freelancer, not two mere years in this business, and tells me she can show her receipts to me…
I mean… if you can be worth millions and still be an insecure as hell person… Is that reassuring or worrisome?
As if money is the measure for how much the opinion of a person matters. If that were so, then Musk, Putin and Trump should be the voices we follow into battle.
And they call ME crazy
Mikita and I don’t always see eye to eye. This is one of those times. While I do agree with him on principle – yes, reality is being played on hard mode, my opinion is that every freelancer and business owner needs a mindset shift.
If you’re in this business to only make money, you’ll always stay on the hamster wheel. You’ll claw your way through this industry like a rat through dirt.
If you’re at a point in your life where you simply want to make money because YOU NEED to survive, then, by all means, do it.
But, to my mind, being a freelancer and starting a business means you want more than money. You want freedom, you want power over your own life, and you want to be able to tell anyone:
“You know what… I don’t like what you want from me so… NO.”
Freelancing has given me the opportunity to say NO to anybody. That’s why I went freelance. Not to make more money.
I wanted to do whatever I wanted, MY WAY.
So, if you’re in this business for the money alone, sure, knock yourself out. If, like me, you want to be a freelancer with money and an intact backbone, maybe try to be a little more picky.
And if you’re a freelancer just trying to survive, maybe this isn’t for you. Maybe it would be better to get a job and come back when times are better. No shame in that.
But being a freelancer or a business owner with an Employee Mindset?
Why, my darling, you’re just fucking yourself over with extra steps…
How to get yourself out of it?
- We’re like 10 minutes into this newsletter, and you STILL haven’t told them how to do it, you wanker! You’re just grandstanding and philosophizing.
- Good things come to those who wait. Or, in this particular instance, to those who read.
Getting yourself out of Employee Mentality is very simple in theory. You just have to make a choice to start thinking long-term. Eh, if only it were that easy. To really get there, you have to start making better choices. Choices like refusing stuff that’s immediately gratifying but will bite you in the ass long-term.
For me, the solution was to take myself out of my business and simplify stuff. You see, I’m a massive control freak and I used to think I have to control every little thing in my business, otherwise I might be missing something.
And I sure as shit would not allow anybody to help me.
But wasn’t I just a huge hypocrite?
By selling writing/marketing services, I’m basically asking people to stop doing these things themselves and hand them over to a specialist – MOI.
Then, it stands to reason that I should do the same thing with my business.
For Romanians, but not only, I have a couple of suggestions:
SOLO. They do my taxes, ‘cause I’m shit at math. Great for freelancers who need to set up their business and can’t be bothered to handle their own accounting. Tried their services - they ARE GOOD.
Cristina Filimon. Lawyer extraordinaire, she helped me and my girlfriend with our freelancer contracts. The only way that you can avoid being fucked over by shit clients is to have a great contract. Cristina is not only a great professional, she’s a real human being. That’s rare these days. I stake my reputation on her expertise. Seriously, look her up.
Igor Rotaru. This one’s more for business owners. While I haven’t worked with Igor myself, his newsletter (Brici) is a thing of beauty. He also offers coaching and/or business assistant services. Haven’t used his services myself, but he seems like a mighty reliable chap, so if you’re looking to delegate, I think he can hook you up.
How to simplify?
OK, Vlad, I did all that. I outsourced some stuff, delegated the rest, but I’m still involved too much with my business. I feel like I need to go in all these different directions, I can’t focus on stuff.
Well, that’s because you’re simply doing too much. Instead of honing in on one idea, you’re trying to cover the whole spectrum.
Let me give you a hint: focus on what you like and what makes sense.
For me, that means taking things in my self-promotion one step at a time. For example, I knew I had to promote my services in order to stand out and get work.
So this was my thought process:
OK, so I need to get leads. Where can I find my audience? Offline? Difficult. Through connections? They’re already sending work my way. Check. What about social media? Good, but where? Facebook - no, too many idiots. Instagram? I’d have to compete with boobs and virtue signaling. Linkedin! A place where professionals come to find talent. Even talent as weird as myself.
Good. How to establish a presence on here? Well, what do you want? I want to be myself, and work with cool people who get me. OK, then we’ll do the following:
a. Start writing whatever the hell I want.
b. Observe whatever people resonate with.
c. Create content pillars based on what people (and by people I mean ideal clients and followers) wanted to see.
This is a great model. It has brought me business and money. And I still get to write what I like. You can apply this to anything, not just writing. Any business! Take it, roll with it, profit.
3. I’ve been on LinkedIn for one year now, but sometimes the algorithm fucks with my reach. I do have a fan base and a couple of people interested in my services. And those wankers mess with my reach when I swear. Enter… B00ls 🙂
The thing you need to understand from the above is that it all took time and strategy. It took years to figure out who I am and get to grips with it enough that I could start using it.
Then, to establish myself on LinkedIn… that took another year. I didn’t rush B00ls… it happened exactly when it needed to happen. Not too early, so that it would have been a false start. I waited to discover if it had an audience and then I launched it.
DO NOT RUSH THINGS.
That’s fine and dandy, Vlad, but I don’t have that kind of time on my hands. I’m a business owner and can’t be bothered to write posts and e-mails. Boobalah, honey, I’m a Ghostwriter with his arms elbow deep in branding strategy.
I can set it up for you, record you, consult you, whip up your posts and newsletters. All you have to do is not be an idiot. And pay me.
Now, it really isn’t that hard, is it?
And still, people refuse to simplify and lead with their own experience
Behold this quote from Jay Acunzo, my own personal marketing Jesus:
“The reason people start thinking their own perspective and original thinking won't build an audience is because they haven't invested enough in developing those ideas. They try it a little bit, then shrug and say, "I guess the stuff I see spinning around the internet is what works. I wish I could do something my way, but that doesn't seem to work."
No. You just haven't developed "your way" enough. You haven't drilled down, identified your perspective through brutal honesty and ranty writing, built that up into a premise, then used that premise to inform content.
This is the work. This is the shift.”
And that’s the problem.
Now, I can do that, and believe me, you can too.
If you’re a writer/marketer, I can help you find the inner B00ls to do it.
If you’re a business owner, I can do it alongside you. You drill and rant, I write the material. You provide the thoughts, I whip up the voice.
Only one little problem. It will take…
Consistency
When you write to a person, you’re actually writing to many people. When that writing comes from within, it will connect. Problem is… you gotta keep at it. It’s not a one and done deal.
And if you want to do it on social media, you’ll need reps. You’ll need to build consistency. Or GRIT.
Now, being consistent and having grit doesn’t mean I’m advising you to be a moron. If things really aren’t clicking, you have to call it a day and move on. But if you just started, and you’re not giving it 3–6 months… I really don’t think you’re trying.
My Ghostwriting clients get reposts, comments, DMs praising their work and perspectives, collaboration requests and invites to conferences. Sure, you can’t attribute it just to what I do for them, but they all agree it helps.
Open to discovering if it will help you too?
Going forward
Longer one, yes, but I had to make up for being absent all this time. If everything goes well, and it should, we’ll be back to two issues a month. Here’s hoping, right?
Now, if you loved this issue, you might be interested in:
Previously, on B00ls: Issue #19: Ghostwriting MasterClass
Another special video episode
Next time, join MadVlad as he takes on…
Issue #21: There’s No Deadline Like the Self Deadline
The horrid case of issue 19 and my mental health
You can get access to the full archive here if you missed any other issue.
In the meantime
If you liked my stuff, this is how we can work together:
I write for you. Check out the Experience section on my LinkedIn.
I consult marketers and founders. I can show you how to invest in yourself through content, not be a slave to your business.
I consult writers. I can show you how to be a business owner freelancer, not an employee freelancer.
Are you a writer/marketer/founder who wants to shed the Employee Mentality?
Know somebody who’d also like that? Share my newsletter and point them in my direction. I’ll give you a beer if you’re ever in Buchar… ha, ha, no. If you’re ever in Brașov, I mean :P.
Offer 1 is detailed up on LinkedIn.
Offers 2 and 3 are detailed up on LinkedIn. But you can also find them here:
Consultancy prices are going up because the service is so popular. Check out the testimonial from a recent coachee:
I’m still very open for consultancy services. Just reply to this e-mail if you’re interested.
Cheers
If this was the first, but also last time we meet: Thank you.
I write for myself, but you reading my writing gives it additional meaning. I literally could not resonate without you.