Issue #6 - Craft or Line Assembly?

Are you a Rolls-Royce or a run-of-the-mill car?

Feb 23, 2024

Bad news, Bubu: people don’t get what they deserve in this life. Mmmm, maybe the next, when God tallies up your sins and good deeds.

But, in this life, you get what you fight for, work for, ask for. Or, better yet, you get what you position yourself for.

That’s why, as opposed to what a Personal Branding expert would tell you (see Issue #4), when you start a business, there’s only ONE OPINION THAT MATTERS: your own.

And it’s not your opinion of the market, the clients or how business works. It’s the opinion you have of yourself.

This holds true for writers, marketers, founders. Everybody.

So, before starting anything business related, ask yourself this question: Are you a Rolls-Royce or a run-of-the-mill car?

The response to this question will shape your entire business and life journey. I hope you choose wisely.

MadVlad taking on some bullshit

I first came up with the idea of the Rolls-Royce versus a usual car while browsing LinkedIn. A typical shit marketer was trying to bait people into falling for her crap, by saying that if we don’t start using A.I. right now (It’s always RIGHT NOW with these people), we’ll be left in the dust.

Sure enough, I call her out for being an alarmist cunt and tell her that as of right now (and even now-now, 12:17 Friday 23.02.24) I’m not using A.I. Mostly because I don’t need it. She tries to explain that bla, bla, brainstorming, ideas, any number of bullshit.

And this is the first time I mention my theory: You can either choose to be a Rolls-Royce, a car that is handcrafted to excellence, or you can be a run-of-the-mill car, built on the line assembly with pieces from other cars (in our case, ideas taken from other creators via A.I.)

Makes sense?

The same goes for my content. I brain-craft every little piece of it. I produce a lot less than other people, a limited collection, if you will, but mine is better quality. Simply because the source is pure. The materials are great because they come from me and my client. That’s it.

That’s also why I charge the big bucks/euros/rons. I know what’s in my mix.

That’s also why I always work with a limited number of clients. Intimate relationships and personalized content take a lot longer to craft.

And that’s why I don’t fight other writers to the bottom of the barrel.

The all-you-can-eat buffet

Ask yourself this question: Do I want to eat at the all-you-can-eat buffet or at the gourmet restaurant?

It’s probably the restaurant. Are you that hungry? Probably not. You’d probably prefer to eat less, but better quality, nutritious food.

But then, next question: Do I want to serve at the all-you-can-eat buffet or at the gourmet restaurant?

Again, the answer naturally gravitates towards the restaurant. Why? Better class of client.

If you answered “restaurant” to both my questions, then why, for the love of God, as a writer, marketer and/or founder do you produce fast-food and all-you-can-eat content?

Go towards gourmet.

Jay Acunzo’s Burger

Need some proof regarding what I just wrote? Check it out:

For my non-Romanian peeps, I basically said the same thing as Jay, but in a rather bitey tone.

If you sling fast-food quality burgers, you’ll get fast-food quality clients.

If you’re a Rolls-Royce, you’ll get a really pampered ass sitting on your fine, luxury, designer leather.

If you’re a run-of-the-mill car, you’ll get any old, stinky ass sitting on your raggedy leather.

Choice is all yours, mate.

But don’t complain when the farts smell horrible. Because, of course, they’re not consuming high quality food/content.

1000 euro/dollars per month and you get EVERYTHING

But lose connection

Now, I’m not going to throw any dirt (of course I am) at my fellow writers, but the fact that these offers are popping up is a good-bad thing.

Offers like, for 1000 EUR/DOLLARS a month you get:

Average 48-hour delivery
Unlimited requests
Pause or cancel anytime

And get this, all the communication is handled through a channel like Slack or Trello.

Now, by show of hands, my darlings, is this a Rolls-Royce or a lemon (beat up car)?

You’re basically paying a fixed fee for UNLIMITED deliverables. And the professional doesn’t even get to meet you.

Will that content be personal? NO

Will that content be strategic? Unlikely

Will that content resonate? NO… OK, fair point, there’s a tiny chance it will

Will that content be high quality? Er… depends on what QUALITY means to you.

Stale, yesterday’s fries, anyone?

But this, this, my friend, is an awesome opportunity for you to position yourself! As a writer, marketer and founder, you just have to do A LITTLE BIT BETTER than these people.

Just a bit. Offer a personalized approach and spend some quality time with the client. And you’re already doing a lot more than 99% of wankers.

- But Vlad, hold UP! You also offer subscription based ways of working with the VAI corporation.

Of course I do. But I also:

Negotiate my delivery time
Offer a set number of deliverables and consultancy sessions
I don’t take you on if you’re not willing to meet with me online or live
I offer complementary beer/coffee meetings live
I take payment in advance
I don’t let you pause or back out of a signed contract at any time. You booked my time, you’re paying for it.

See the difference? Vroom-vroom.

A Rolls-Royce always sets the rules

Not everybody gets to ride a Rolls-Royce. And that’s fine.

It’s not a budget thing, either. I work with small budgets and small businesses all the time. What I don’t work with is a small mentality. And neither should you.

If you want to be a Premium/Luxury brand, you have to set the rules. Rules like:

You do what I say

Sure, you’re paying, but I’m the specialist. What I say, goes. What you think, we discuss. I’m open for brainstorming and hashing out strategies, you giving me examples from the competition, and so on.

But, at the end of the day, if I steer the ship (strategy and writing), I call the shots. You’re either cool with that, or you do it yourself and swim with the sharks.

Would you go to the doctor and argue with him regarding treatment? Probably not.

Or you’d simply go to other doctors. But if I prescribe heart pills, and you pop a Viagra, somebody’s going to have a hard time. Most likely you.

50% or bust

This is something I tell all my clients (at least the ones for whom I do ghostwriting/Personal branding and/or consultancy) - you’ve got to be here. Not in another meeting, not distracted. If you can’t commit to that, I’m out. You do your part, which is half.

I’m not a miracle worker or a mind reader. If you don’t put in the time, and you don’t work alongside me, we’re not getting anywhere fast.

These are just a couple of my rules. I’d advise you to create yours and stick to them. A lot of people want to work with pushovers. Professionals don’t want to work with pushovers.

Careful, or you’ll become an executioner

I call “executioners” the people who will just take your money and deliver content. Because they execute their assignment and execute your chances of ever benefiting from it.

It’s cool to be an executioner from time to time, if you’re just in it for the money. But if you want to leave a lasting impact and make the big bucks, go beyond executions and sprinkle some strategy and some humanity on your offer.

Rolls-Royce opening rates

Sure, I talk a lot of smack. But can I back it up?

The usual open rate for the industry is somewhere around 30-40%, depending on the topic. So far, mine is above 50% (you’ll have to zoom in a bit here):

Sure, Issue #4 kind of fucked with my average but, wait, wait, wait - more likes, more comments, a lot more views and more subs than average.

Ups?

Yeah.

Some people like to send bite sized e-mails daily featuring some cute anecdotes. I like to send weekly power punches.

You tell me what works best.

Oh, and I also have like 5-6 accounts that I carry around like dead weight. They subscribed to my newsletter just so I would like them back. I don’t do that.

I’m going to cull them pretty soon. A Rolls doesn’t carry dead weight. You’re either interested or not.

I learned this one from Elena Petriuc. Thank you, girl!

On using A.I.

Look, man, I have nothing against A.I. It’s just a tool. I even wrote an article for a magazine about A.I and Neuralink. But, right now, I would not use A.I. for writing or anything creative for two reasons:

The selfish one

All I have, apart from body and soul (and I’m not a hooker or a shaman, so I can’t monetize that) is my mind. I start outsourcing my brainstorming and writing to an app, I am FU-fucked.

If I don’t train my muscles, they stop developing. They get smaller. I get dumber. Think about that before you outsource your thought process again.

The moral one

“Creative” A.I. is based on theft at the moment. Anyone who uses it to “create” content is promoting theft.

Sorry, but this is how it stands. It learns from other creations and creators without their approval. I call that theft. Some courts in the US agree with me.

I’ll be the first person to endorse A.I. use for automation, optimization and efficiency, when nobody's getting financially (and personally) hurt by it. In the creative industry.

Like the guy I interviewed with yesterday told me:

“A.I. is for people without original thoughts. And it will lead to oligophrenic communication.” Thank you, Mugur.

If you want to get more details about the topic, I recommend this article by Joe Lazer. For a more poetical approach, here’s mine.

Difference between me and the A.I. humpers?

I actually LOVE writing. Probably why you’re reading my stuff, too.

Another thing a Rolls-Royce never does

It does not beg. Least of all for attention. Listen to me now, and listen well. If you want to be a premium brand, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT HUSTLE FOR ATTENTION.

You hustle for a mission, a purpose, a vision. Not for attention. A share, if it’s truly valuable, sure.

But, whenever you put something out into the world, do not ask for likes. Do not ask for comments.

That’s small brand energy and pity resonance. That’s what losers do, and you ain’t one.

I wrote about this before, and someone commented that “it’s a lot less manipulative than pods.”

Sorry Witcher fans, there’s no such thing as “the lesser evil”. Hitler was not better than Stalin for killing fewer people. Stalin was not worse than Pol Pot for killing more.

The principle is the same. You screw the pooch, your brand is screwed. So don’t.

A Rolls doesn’t whore for attention. It commands it.

How I craft

I know how most people do it. I don’t like what most people do.

I craft by making connections. Between stuff I feel, my clients feel, and their audience feels.

That’s the only thing we truly have in common. I can’t teach you how to do that, not in a newsletter. But I can teach you how to think, and eventually discover your own way or producing connection. Or resonance.

Or whatever you want to call it. But first, you gotta decide what car you want to be.

And then, you have to decide on what you want to sell.

For example, I don’t sell results. Much like a Rolls-Royce doesn’t sell the destination or the trip between A and B.

“A Rolls-Royce is more than a motor car. It is a work of art, hand-made to order exclusively for you, by our team of highly skilled craftspeople and designers. Whatever you imagine your ideal motor car to be, bring your unique vision to life with Rolls-Royce Bespoke.”

A Rolls sells a feeling. A status. A statement. A dream of a better world.

Do that for your clients and you’ll be all right.

Fair warning: there aren’t a lot of Rolls-Royce lovers. It WILL take time to find them. It WILL be hard. But when you find them, you find that the wait was worth it.

All right, all right, all right

I’m going to finish with a quote from one of the best TV shows that ever existed: True Detectives Season 1. It’s also the final argument on my thesis. Coincidentally, it’s also the last line spoken on the show.

Matthew McConaughey delivers it splendidly:

“Well, once there was only darkness. You ask me, light is winning."

Once, there was only crappy, run-of-the-mill copy and content. Now, we also have some brain-crafted writing.

You ask me, quality writing is winning.

Mail from the Subscribers

In the previous issue, I mentioned that people are getting dumber and studies confirm it. One reader, let’s call him… Mod, stated that this was another great issue, but he doesn’t quite agree with me.

And I love differing views, especially when said views are not absolutely moronic. This one isn’t. It’s quite interesting actually!

Mod said that he believes the studies mentioned are not exactly true. I’m quoting him here:

“Because IQ may mean a bunch of stuff, but it's not actually a good measurement of intelligence. I know it does say something about your logical capabilities, but I think how we act with the knowledge we have is way more important. So, if machines and calculators worsen our memory but give us time to think and act in other ways, I believe that society has become everything but dumber.”

If you want to know more about said topic, check this out: https://som.yale.edu/news/2009/11/why-high-iq-doesnt-mean-youre-smart

No, no, he has a point.

First, thank you for reaching out, Mod!

And second, thank you for caring enough to reply, especially since you had a different perspective.

Perspectives are the spice of life, and this is why I do what I do!

Going forward

This one was a bit shorter*, but not by much. So much to say, so little time to write and read. But still, that’s the life!

*Got you! It’s actually the longest :P.

If you loved this issue, you might be interested in

Previously, on B00ls: Issue #5 - This “Stupid Audience” Myth

Thinking your audience is stupid makes you stupid

Next time, join MadVlad as he takes on…

Issue #7: The Format Does Not Influence The Principle

You make the channel your bitch… not the other way around

You can get access to the full archive here if you missed any other issue.

In the meantime

If you liked my stuff, this is how we can work together:

I write for you. Check out the Experience section on my LinkedIn
I consult marketers and founders. Ask about my premium approach to marketing
I consult writers. Ask about my premium approach to writing

Are you a marketer/writer/founder who wants to learn how to act like a Rolls-Royce?

Reply to this e-mail if you’re interested in the above.

Know somebody who’d also like that? Share my newsletter and point them in my direction. I’ll give you a beer if you’re ever in Bucharest.

Offers 2 and 3 are detailed up on LinkedIn. But you can also find them here:

It’s a shame I didn’t offer these sooner.

My imposter syndrome might flare up, but the proof is there: people are already asking for it, are paying for it, and have already given me testimonials on it.

And what’s worse, by not offering this service, I let other “specialists” take centre stage. People who, among others:

1. Don’t understand the concept of intellectual theft.

“Nah, A.I. is not dangerous if left unregulated.”

Oh, it very much is. You’d know that if you created anything in your life.

2. People for whom marketing is just a cash cow.

“The final goal of marketing is revenue.”

Umm… just no. If all you understood from marketing is: “input persuasion here, get cash there”, we’re working in very different fields. It just happened that we both call it “marketing”.

3. They want to con you into buying

“Being nice actually is a compulsion to make more sales”

Please stop the planet, I want to get off…

You’re promoting and learning from people who are nice to you just because they want to make a sale. Brother… that person is just a piece of shit, and I’d like to get as many of them as possible out into the open.

No, you don’t have to con anybody into buying. I can show you how to market, and even sell, like a principled human being who didn’t misplace his humanity in the car park.