How to write whatever the fuck you want and get people to actually pay for it 101
Class is in session.
Presiding, MadVlad, cvasi-honorary lector, Dean of Connection Writing.
Pencils down and listen carefully:
Writing is about making connections. Mainly between people. The greatest ability of a professional writer is making connections out of the blue. I’m not saying it just because I can do that. Modesty wasn’t my strong suit anyway.
However, I’m not referring only to people-to-people connection. I’m talking up connection between seemingly unrelated topics.
For example, what do Master Yoda of Star Wars and Nike (the shoe, not the Goddess) have in common?
class is dead quiet….
Anyone?
- Again, Sir, this is an e-mail, they can’t respond live…
OK, we’ll carry on. They have a motto in common:
Nike: Just do it
Master Yoda: Do or do not, there is no try
Oh, yeah, there’s also that crazy wanker Shia, but we’ll let that one slide…
*Somebody from the fictitious audience finally stands up and cries: But Sir, we’re here to learn about how to write when there’s no inspiration, not…
Silencio, Perkins! We’re getting to that!
Ahem… what was I saying?... Yes, connection! The reason you can’t achieve connection is… you’re not writing freely. Or you think you can’t write. Or you think you have to meet some preconditions to write.
BOLLOCKS!
If you want to make the blank page your friend and enslave that whimsical whore* called inspiration, you need a change of mentality.
*Quick free tip before we begin. If you’re a writer/marketer/founder who creates written content on LinkedIn, you miiiiiight want to stay away from beautiful, but potentially dangerous alliterations like “whimsical whore”. Sounds great, but it might kill your reach. Just saying, I haven’t had 1, one, ONE Like on LinkedIn since I started posting. Not even when I said kids shouldn’t be used as content on LinkedIn. That was a shitshow… Anyway, forewarned is forearmed.
Now, one more peep at that lunatic Shia, and we can begin.
The preconditions of writing or not writing
Real writers don’t care about their writing. You might misunderstand that, so let me rephrase:
Real writers don’t care about the results of their writing. They don’t care about how much money it brings in, how much praise and validation they receive, how many likes, and who kisses their ass.
If you need a real life (not alive) example, research Bukowski. Thing is, if you tie in your real life self-worth to words you put on a page or on a pixel… boy, you’re going to have a bad time.
Now, I’m not a hypocrite. I write for money. I ghostwrite, and when my clients get likes, engagement and DMs congratulating them, I swoon. It’s only natural.
But when I approach the process of writing, I do it for one single person. ME.
That allows me to turn the faucet on and writing flows. And then, I take that flow and direct it towards whatever I’m doing, taking into account clients, context, product, service, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Other writers call me a purist. OK, fair point.
But my way keeps me in business.
Not everyone has to be a real writer, not everybody needs to be a real writer.
However, if you’re currently struggling with the written word, learn to let go. Wonderful things will happen. That’s about it for theory, let’s get a bit practical.
What is writer’s block?
You sit down and you can’t write. Or maybe you’re a weirdo and write standing up. Doesn’t matter, the point is your mind is as dry as bone and words are not coming out to play.
The short of it, you can’t write. Sure, there’s some literature on the topic, but you can research that on your own. But, for the fun of it, let’s debunk some common myths about writing, that may be holding you back. I took them from a collaborative article on LinkedIn, of all places.
Me and A.I. collaborative articles are not friends, that’s why I’m semi-mocking them here:
You need talent to write well
Uh, bummer man. That’s true. But, what is talent? What is well? I know a lot of absolutely talentless writers who make a killing. Don’t let a perceived or real lack of talent stand in the way of your dreams.
Even if you think you lack talent, write on.
You need inspiration to write
I’m a very inspired man. Too inspired, some would say. Sometimes I need to stop my shower, my workout, my… no, I don’t stop that. Anyway, I get a lot of ideas because I don’t judge my idea.
I also don’t expect inspiration to strike. I just start writing and it comes. Or not.
You need to follow the rules of writing
Get out.
If you really believe that, you can go ahead and unsubscribe now.
You need to write perfectly the first time
I’m a near perfect first time writer. But I make LOADS of grammar, spelling or even logic mistakes. I get back and I edit. No biggie.
You need to write for everyone
Again, please vacate the premises if you believe that. You write for yourself and then for an audience.
You need to write alone
Honey, I know you’re reading this newsletter (mainly because I’m forcing you) but don’t take this part seriously. I can’t write from anywhere! Not from a coffee shop, without my twin monitor.
*Quietly aside: Yeah, you can write from anywhere. Even on the crapper. Actually, I recommend it. Some of my best work ideates when I defecates.
I’m pushing this great sounding writing thing today…
It’s imposter syndrome… sorry
If my…. 20 years of writing experience (yeah, I’ve been writing since I was 10, get over it) has taught me something, and I’d wager it has, is that writer’s block is nothing more than imposter syndrome.
It flares up, and you don’t think that you’re good enough. That your writing resonates. That it will drive connection. Sales. A presidential election campaign!
Take a breather. You are enough. You are not your craft. You are not your writing.
If the writing help on this Google dock tells me again that I can’t start 4 consecutive sentences with “you”, I’ll fucking shoot it!
Hah… it feels cathartic to even write it. The “you are enough” thing, not the doc.
But it’s true. The blank page is not your enemy. It’s your friend. It’s your free pass.
Don’t try to trick imposter syndrome. The blank page is a blessing in disguise. That’s why the French (bless their racist souls) call it carte blanche.
You won’t peddle crap if you just write, trust me. You’ll peddle a part of your soul. And that’s… that’s invaluable.
A’s improvement
I know you’ll think I’m just licking my own asshole again, and believe me to be a pretentious twat (I am, but not about writing), but when I work with a client, I don’t just work on their writing or website or posts or whatever. I work on their mentality.
A’s been having issues with her writing, and we both decided that when I finish her website, she’ll start posting blog articles of her own.
I work a little bit on her, I mean on her mindset issues, and this is what happened:
“I gave up my anxiety. I gave up the idea of doing everything perfectly, and I just wrote. I got congratulated, praised, and they loved my article on (redacted, so you don’t know which client I’m talking about). I’m on cloud 9. More to come”
I paraphrased that and translated it from Romanian, so all of you reading will get it, but the point stands:
Let! GOOO!
The other wrench in the works
Look, man… I’m not saying writing is easy. Especially not when you’re doing it on social media. Because of the pressure. The pressure social media puts on you to always be present. It’s tough to always be on.
And always provide value. I’m constantly terrified of coming up short. Of not being good enough. Of my best writing being behind me. Stop me when it feels like something you’ve experienced.
THAT'S THE FEAR WHICH KEEPS YOU FROM SHOWING UP!
But, as luck would have it, the very same thing is happening today. Ironically, I’m having a post with one like. Of all days, it happens today.
The day when I’m writing this newsletter. And you know what?
I’m having the time of my life writing this piece, even though thoughts of not being good enough creep into my head:
“What kind of social media writer/marketer/specialist gets posts that have ONE SINGLE LIKE and then has the courage to talk about any kind of craft and results?!”
Uh, this one. I’m human. It happens.
And with the amount of swearing I do, it was only a matter of time :)).
The other, other wrench in the works
Though… I should be calling it wrench in the words…
Ha, ha, clever.
Yeah, I’m talking about ChatGPT. Dude, dudette, duperson… If you’re struggling with the blank page, do not, under any circumstance, try to circumvent the issue.
Do not seek outside help and do not outsource the thinking process. Yes, using A.I. will help you put words on page.
But, uhh… whose words?
What will happen to your brain in the long run? I say it will turn into mush.
And if you check out what comes out of Chat’s “hands”... Well, slowly, but surely, people are starting to realize that they’ve been duped.
What was touted as “intelligent” is merely basic. You’d expect an average Joe falling into this kind of trap, but not marketers. They bullshit people for a living, after all.
Turns out, when you bullshit people for a living, you also get so accustomed to the smell of shit that you’re now vulnerable yourself to being bullshitted.
Comes with the territory. And the practice.
People think
People think that creating every day ends up with you peddling crap. Yes and no.
Yes, if you’re just doing it because you have to do it, sans any feeling of joy.
No, if you actually develop a habit and like what you’re doing.
Little do they know, but the fact that you create every day, makes you better at creating.
Same with running, exercising, whatever. Sure, take breaks. But using your brain is a lot better than constantly repurposing. I create content every day, and I’m certainly not peddling crap.
But those people and their repurposing tips… can’t really say the same about them. That doesn’t mean you have to actively publish something every day. But creating every day keeps the brain doctor away.
And Adriana, consequently.
The blank page could also be a sign of a strategy problem
Most of the shit I write is not strategic. That don’t mean it doesn’t have a strategy behind it or a common thread.
Problem is, most marketers have it backwards. They write up their strategy for a client, not thinking about the client himself/herself, but the end result. Making sales, for example.
When the strategy is done, they try to change the client to fit in it. They start taking the client apart, and say “lose this part, use this part more.”
Like “don’t be funny, we’re in B2B, don’t talk about your bottle corks collection, appear to be a familist”. But… human beings are not like that!
So, what I advise marketers/founders and other writers is to start the strategy from who the person actually is. And then crop and carve the strategy according to the client.
Not the other way around… which is simply stupid and not sustainable long term.
We’ll get more into this in our next issue, when we talk about brands and what they need to do to stand out. I’m not infringing on Louis Grenier, I didn’t mention standing the fuck out.
But, next time you're looking at a blank page, make sure the problem you have is not just a poor strategy that doesn’t fit you.
If you need more inspiring writing like this, I recommend reading Tom Grundy’s newsletter issue: “The kindness of putting yourself first”.
Join his newsletter here. Subscribe and ask him nicely to forward that specific issue. I promise it’s worth it.
Alternatively, if you don’t want to subscribe to Tom’s newsletter, you can write to me, and I’ll forward that specific e-mail to you. Again, I promise you it’s worth it.
Baudelaire agrees
"Inspiration is merely the reward for working every day."
Source: Charles Baudelaire - Curiosites Esthetiques (1868)
Thank you, Teodora Chinde for bringing this into my life. To paraphrase her, paraphrasing a book, paraphrased by Seth Godin (writing is just a lot of paraphrasing):
Inspiration comes when you work. It’s not luck or native talent. It’s “rebranded” work.
Everything can be content. Not everything has to be
One more thing before I leave you. There should be an ethical limit to what you're writing. Just because you can make content about everything, doesn’t mean you have to.
I was delighted (not surprised, because he seems to be that kind of person, that’s why we work so well together) when one of my ghostwriting clients told me that his kid is off limits. I can write about him, his wife, but not his kid.
The kid WILL NOT HAVE A SOCIAL MEDIA PRESENCE. We can use stories about how he interacts with his kid, but no photos, no mentions by name.
To you, (reacted name), I tip my virtual hat. Bravo.
Going forward
I’m starting to find my footing with these things, and the timing could not be more perfect. Next issue… we’re going into double digits!
If you loved this issue, you might be interested in
Previously, on B00ls: Issue #8 - Tabibu Juha, Marketing Ain’t Sales
You make the channel your bitch… not the other way around
Next time, join MadVlad as he takes on…
Issue #10: Breaking From The Brand Platoon
Lead or Die
You can get access to the full archive here if you missed any other issue.
In the meantime
If you liked my stuff, this is how we can work together:
I write for you. Check out the Experience section on my LinkedIn
I consult marketers and founders. Ask about my approach to writing that people actually like, on top of bringing results
I consult writers. Ask about my approach to writing that people actually like, on top of bringing results
Are you a writer/marketer/founder who wants to learn how to write without feeling clogged up?
Reply to this e-mail if you’re interested in the above.
Know somebody who’d also like that? Share my newsletter and point them in my direction. I’ll give you a beer if you’re ever in Bucharest.
Offers 2 and 3 are detailed up on LinkedIn. But you can also find them here:
Cheers
If this was the first, but also last time we meet: Thank you.
I write for myself, but you reading my writing gives it additional meaning. I literally could not resonate without you.