Issue #2: The Dreaded Storyseller

Because best friends and best intentions create monsters

Before sitting down and writing this e-mail, I brushed my teeth. You probably finished your coffee, took a shit, wiped your butt, preferably washed it (yay for the bidet) and sat down to read this newsletter. Or your kid had a fit, hit you with projectile vomit, and you had to change your work clothes before rushing out the door. You’re now reading my newsletter and procrastinating on some tasks your asshole of a boss gave you. 

What’s that? I hear you protesting? You’re saying nobody cares about stuff like this.

Well, talk to the hand, mate. Social media is full of it. Kinda your fault too. 

This is my story

I have a story. You have a story. Everybody has a story. We’re natural-born storytellers. It’s in our DNA to tell (the lucky ones can also write) stories. We’re not reinventing the wheel here. 

Way I see it, if you’re here (on the planet) you’re bound to have and live a story. You only have one responsibility: 

Make sure the story you’re telling is worth living and sharing. 

Everything is and isn’t a story

My ill-fated introduction - story. 

The fact that you scrolled on social media last night instead of connecting with your partner - story

That one time you ate buffalo wings and couldn’t leave the crapper for days in a row - story. 

But… are these stories actually worth mentioning? See, we’ve been conditioned to believe stories sell. And they do. But with great selling power comes great responsibility. 

Everything can be a story. Everything should absolutely not be a story. 

Why the Dreaded Storyseller? 

Most anti-heroes start off easy enough. They have a tragic backstory - check. 

They work their way up through grunts. Small obstacles. They get a lot of confidence. And then… then they meet their first Big Bad and get a whooping. First time they get their asses handed to themselves. 

They question themselves and want to give up. Then they pluck up the courage to go forward.  

Classic superhero arc. 

Not MadVlad. It’s our second issue, and I’m already squaring up against the big boys:

The Dreaded Storyseller

It’s not one person, either. It’s a belief. 

As I mentioned countless times, I love stories. Love the people who tell them, too. But there’s a special kind of storyteller I don’t love. 

The Dreaded Storyseller is a little cunt because he weaponizes storytelling. He’ll tell you and everybody listening/reading that stories are a powerful medium, and we should all use them because they work. 

Attention! Not because they are nice to tell and they reach people. But because they work. 

Now, let’s do a little thought experiment. 

Replace the word “story” with the following: 

• Artificial Intelligence

• Authenticity

• Growth

Now you see the problem? 

They’ve taken storytelling and turned it into a buzzword. A marketing tactic. A hack.

A beautiful thing has been turned into a means to an end. 

Stories have always been used to resonate with other people. Now, they are being used to persuade people. 

And that’s fine, sure. But not when you push a story into existence just because you didn’t have a better idea for a post today. 

I hate: 

Oh yeah, MadVlad’s definitely a hater, not a lover. I need him to be that guy, so I can channel the overflowing mess that I call my frustrations. 

So, I hate “inflatable” people. These are the trend hoppers. They noticed people vibe with stories, and now they push out stories ad infinitum. The second storytelling wanes down, they stop. It’s not like they had an authentic interest in storytelling and have any reason to continue.

So, I hate obsessed people. These are the writers/marketers/founders of the “one-trick pony” variety. They landed squarely on storytelling, they’ve figured they are good at it and, like a jealous dragon, they won’t move their butts. It’s the ONLY thing they know how to do, and even when it’s not effective, they insist with it. 

So, I hate the money riding people. These are in the storytelling game only for the profit. They’re a bit smarter than inflatable people because they can stop a lot earlier and notice in advance when a trend dies. The moment profit is in danger, they pivot. 

All of the above have it in them to be great people and great marketers/writers. If only they let go of the horse blinders. Stories are just one tool in the writer’s box. 

Push on any tool and it gets blunt. Push some more, and it breaks. Some people push way harder, even past the use-by-date, but that’s another story. 

However

Vlad, you’re a writer. Sure, you don’t hop trends, but you work in marketing. You want to make money and reach people. You know stories work. Heck, you tell good stories. 

Why don’t you become a Dreaded Storyseller? 

One single answer: balance.

Think of your favourite dish. Mine’s pizza. Or burgers. This is my comic newsletter, so we’ll use my example. Play along and imagine your favourite food is pizza. Even if it’s salmon and broccoli (yuck, but OK). 

So you’ve decided to eat pizza every day. Morning, noon and evening. And you do it. Morning, noon and evening for a week. How fast before you eventually get tired of pizza? 

*I put a story in this story to prove my own point. 

This is actually a true story. I was a little boy visiting the seaside with my mother. Had a pretty healthy appetite for a young boy of nine. Decided I was going to eat pizza every day for one week straight. 

Now, there’s two ways of looking at this: 

1. Wow, this guy’s mom’s an idiot, you can’t let a child eat pizza every day.

2. Wow, this guy’s mom’s a genius, he’ll get a valuable lesson out of it. 

After one week of eating pizza every day, I was pizza-ed out. Couldn’t touch one slice without PTSD for months. You get what you sow…

And that’s my point. You’ll eventually get sick of stories. Your followers will get sick of stories. You’ll drive all of us out of a perfectly good business because you push it too far. 

Great stories are great. They are timeless. Pushed stories are a travesty. Cheap and forced…

But… what if I can’t tell the difference? 

The anatomy of a story

- You bloody moron! By my count, it’s now 1078 words, and you haven’t provided ONE single actionable tip. It’s all philosophy. People don’t read newsletters for literary value or for a way of doing and thinking about things, they read newsletters because they want to gain VALUE! 

Uhh… fuck those people. We’re now waiting for them to unsubscribe….

….

Good, now let’s get to the actionable tips. 

I have three ways to tell if a story actually needs to come into existence, or I should just can it and call it a day:

1. Is it mine? 

Did it happen to me? If somebody shared it with me, are they cool with sharing it forward? 

The deeper you go into your own experiences, the more people will resonate. It’s not a marketing hack, it’s a common sense observation. People will always resonate with another person’s humanity. 

2. Is it true? 

The best tip I can give writers is to write what they have lived themselves. Sure, there’s a place for fiction, but the best stories are usually based on something that’s very personal and true for you. You could use made up stuff to entertain, but careful when doing the same in order to sell. 

3. Is it useful? 

Sure, we write for ourselves, but what’s the endpoint? Do people really need to find out about the fact that you just went number 2? If there’s a lesson to be drawn from there, sure. If not, let's shelf it. 

But even better, ask yourself the ULTIMATE question when deciding if a story has to be told or not: 

DO I NATURALLY WANT TO SHARE THIS or AM I THINKING OF WAYS TO PUT THIS IN A STORY FORMAT FOR REACH/LIKES/PROFIT? 

If it’s the first, it will flow naturally from your keyboard. If it’s the latter, you’ll have a hard time putting in words. 

When I get an idea, I usually write it down in my notes. I let it percolate there until it takes a life of its own. If it develops into a full-blown story, I let it see the light of day. If it’s just an idea, but an important one, I might share it as is. 

If it just dies out… Let it. It just wasn’t its time. Learn to let your darlings die. 

Going forward

Whew, that was a lot, and you might hate me now. Well, I’ll just have to live with it. But if you loved this issue, you might be interested in

Previously, on B00ls:

Issue #1: VAI's WHY and the rise of MadVlad

Every good anti-hero needs an origin story. This is mine. Not mine. Ours

Next time, join MadVlad as he takes on

Issue #3: The Writer/Marketer/Founder’s Biggest Dilemma

Et tu, Brute? Who do you write for? 

In the meantime

If you liked my stuff, this is how we can work together: 

1. I write for you. Check out the Experience section on my LinkedIn. 

2. I consult marketers and founders. Ask about my non-bullshit approach to marketing

3. I consult writers. Ask about my non-bullshit approach to writing. 

Reply to this e-mail if you’re interested in the above. 

(I’m still working on offers 2 and 3 so watch this space for updates)

Cheerio

If this was the first, but also last time we meet: Thank you. 

I write for myself, but you reading my writing gives it additional meaning. I literally could not resonate without you.