Issue #27: A Founder’s Worst Nightmare, a Writer’s Biggest Problem
Do not kill your darlings
Long month, no see. Precisely because I needed time to recharge my batteries and, hopefully, come back bigger (my waistline is protesting) and better than before. And wiser. Though turning 31 did not provide much betterment in the “mature writing” department… But I did manage to implement Tom’s laxer boundaries strategy (see previous issue).
So, it was the night before Christmas (not really, but it sounds better than the days before and after Christmas, so roll with it) and everything was silent. Except my thumping brain, desperately rolling around one question:
“What the F am I writing about in the new year?”
(as you can see, that question bummed me out for 24 days straight)
Alas, the conclusion came naturally once I looked inward (careful Vlad, you’re veering closer and closer to Self-Help cliché territory). It’s time to go back to basics and revisit a topic that’s dear to everyone, be they business owner or business writer: how to connect better?
Buckle up, buckaroos.
Banzaaai!
How do I escape?
The founder’s worst nightmare and the writer’s biggest problem is a lack of connection with the audience. Or… in terms that will irk some of you… irrelevance. It’s the same question that troubles me as I thump on the keyboard — writing this very sentence. OK, phrase.
What if they don’t care?
I’m pouring my heart here on the pixel, and they might just open this newsletter. But they might not. If you’re a writer, you know exactly what it feels like. If you’re a business owner, it doesn’t hurt your sensibilities that much, but a disengaged audience will eventually hurt your pocket big time.
Word to the wise, this feeling of I’m not relevant never quite goes away, much like imposter syndrome. You learn to live with it and joyously smack it around when it visits.
In business terms, you gain relevance when you write for an audience. But that’s so general a direction that it will leave you scratching your head. Sure, you can research and find out what they care about and what solutions they intimately crave, but that’s just the starting point. The… intellectual argument, if you will. In many cases you’ll discover that relevance and, thus, connection, requires an emotional investment. A link. Something personal. You gotta give to receive.
Sadly (it’s actually a good thing, though) there’s no guide to connection/relevance/resonance. Only inward exploration. For starters, ask the questions most people are afraid of answering.
If you start looking for outside solutions, you already have a problem. People think the connection game is about creating more with less input (hello A.I. writing).
I like to think it’s about creating less, but with more intention, more insight, more strategy, more creativity. And… finally… more you. As “alternative” writing solutions grow more and more popular, the last bastion of differentiation (in writing) will be what you, and only you can bring to the table.
People who think the game is staying top of mind will continue to produce more and more. People who think that the game is occupying a very specific corner of one’s mind will continue to create better. And they will understand that the production race will fail them. As we all know, the best ideas come when at rest.
Want a great example of doing less, but with more intention? Check out Dan Holt’s Mary’s Marketing Adventures.
Killing me softly
Kill your darlings, a term used by many famous writers, implies not getting too attached to your own writing. So, whenever a piece of literary exercise is nothing more than ego stroking, and doesn’t serve the overall story or point, you must cut it out. And I wholeheartedly agree. Trust me, I had many stupid jokes lined up for the introduction, but I decided to save them for a better time.
However… as with all pieces of popular wisdom, people read too much into it. From cutting out unnecessary and masturbatory writing, it soon became: cut yourself and what you like out of your writing.
And, to quote Meatloaf, I won’t do that!
There’s really a fine line between overstuffing your writing and depersonalizing it, and if I’m to chose, I’d rather choose indulgence.
Sure, sure, sure, if you’re writing for a client, you definitely have to kill your own darlings, because the piece is not about you. But careful not to kill the client’s darlings, especially if they provide insight into who they are. Those special little darlings might turn out to be why the client’s client chooses them over the competition… ha, who knew.
My arguments will prove their worth in time, especially if we’re talking about highly personal types of writing, like social media posts, newsletters and blogs where the author is a big part of the allure. For example, B00ls is a great example of not killing my darlings, since people are willing to sit even through the cringiest of parts to get to the good stuff.
That’s what personal writing is, most of the time — a lot of darlings left un-killed. I prefer my darlings free-range, and I’ll only kill them when absolutely necessary. And… weirdly enough (not really) that’s what resonates with my readers.
However, make no mistake, I (mostly) know where to draw the line.
THE LINE
“People will want to buy from you because you are you.”
OK, Sinek, pump your brakes. It depends. On a lot of stuff. Mainly what you are selling and to whom. As I was saying a couple of days ago, if I’m buying parsley from the farmer’s market, I really won’t be interested in the granny’s personal brand.
If I’m buying a service that implies interaction with a person, I’m most likely going to care about who they are and why they do what they do. But not necessarily.
This whole “be yourself and that’s all you need” is a gross simplification. Who you are is just the frosting on the cake. If who you are is the only differentiation in your business… brother… you’re fucked.
It should be the finishing touch, not the basis for working with you. Don’t believe me? Here’s an example:
I work with very different clients. Some on branding strategies and some on ghostwritten SEO articles. The person who sought my services for a personal branding strategy told me that:
“You write the way I think, that’s why I want to work with YOU”
She just found a comment of mine on LinkedIn under a post, so she checked out my profile. She liked what she saw, and we signed the contract, presto-jumbo. In this case, not killing my darlings (expressing myself just how I see fit, and letting my idiosyncrasies run wild) brought a great client.
However, in the case of the SEO articles I ghostwrite, my client DOES NOT GIVE TWO FUCKS about who I am and what I think about the world. They care that the articles are written in a professional manner and delivered on time. And that they make the first page of Google and bring in the readers. Who then spend casholla on their products.
So, let’s not get things twisted. A personal brand is great. It can help you stand out and get clients. But it won’t make up for a shoddy business foundation or cluelessness about what you offer.
Jason Vana (I know, Paul, I mostly don’t like him either) makes a great point about differentiation here.
On creativity and pleasure… and the mess
And this is where things get really, really complicated, people, because most of us (yes, myself included) have a big problem with balance. And the following happens:
People who have a hard on for strategy will think that creativity and pleasure have no place in writing/marketing/branding. Which is fundamentally false. They’d have us cut out all the joie de vivre of creation, the mess, and focus just on results and the bottom line. Efficiency. People like this think creatives are just artists who don’t have a business bone in their body.
On the other side, there lie creatives who just want to put beautiful stuff into the world. Well… that won’t work either. We tend to scoff at strategy and think that our gut always knows best. It doesn’t.
These two groups have major issues with each other. The first one wants to kill creativity and pleasure in writing because they can’t see the ROI in it. The second group just wants to create unhinged because that’s what they like, and they sometimes forget the business goal.
Both approaches are fundamentally flawed. This is what I think:
The biggest lie we’re telling ourselves is that creativity and strategy don’t go together. Creativity and pleasure foster connection. You almost can’t have one without the other.
And then… there's a whole discussion here. Mainly about what "strategy" means.
Some people (myself included) think that an overly strategic approach kills the authenticity and/or creativity in writing. Which, in turn, kills resonance and connection.
Others (and this is the approach I like) think that strategy should be built in, as everything we do (in marketing and branding, at least) should come with a predefined goal.
I guess the struggle comes from not wanting or being able to balance the two according to your heart's desire. It should be relatively easy when doing it for yourself.
The real shit hits the fan when you do it for someone else.
But I don't think that the inclusion of "strategy" is ever black and white. Most likely, we're talking about many shades of gray.
At the end of the day, you have to decide how strategic and how creative you want to be.
That comes after exploration, or… the mess, as Jay Acunzo calls it:
“Because really, it’s the mess that brings out your best. We shouldn’t hate it or dread it, and we definitely shouldn’t try to skip it or outsource it to a software tool. After 20 years, I can say very little with total certainty about creativity, but I’m confident enough to plant my flag for this truth:
It’s the mess that brings out your best.." - here I go, quoting Jay Acunzo… again :))
Point being… kill your darlings, don’t kill your darlings, be creative, be strategic… you have to make the choice.
As for me, I don’t want to work with people who think there’s only one way you could do anything and everything. Call it one of the darlings I don’t want to kill.
Still open for guesting
Pitching is still open. If you’re a writer (a person who writes, you don’t have to identify as a professional writer) with a great story to share with the B00ls audience, hit me up.
You can talk about stuff that lights you up and promote yourself at the same time.
I ONLY HAVE ONE RULE:
It has to be quality content, relevant to the B00ls audience. There’s now 200 of us, weee are many.
Going forward
In case you’re not done reading:
Previously, on B00ls: Issue #26: A Storytelling Extravaganza With a Great Twist
Santa Grundy is coming to town. And going to town on boundaries.
Next time, join MadVlad as he takes on…
Issue #28: The Full Monty
You can’t generate demand. Only tap into it. I’m tapping.
In the meantime, you can get access to the full archive here if you missed any other issue.
In the meantime
If you liked my stuff, this is how we can work together:
I write for you, so you’re dead certain your stuff will be the right mix of ctrategic and sreative. Check out the Experience section on my LinkedIn.
I consult marketers and founders. Trust me, all that freelance experience taught me when to be strategic, when to be creative, and when to be both.
I consult writers who want to keep their darlings and still have great results.
Are you a writer/marketer/founder who wants to connect better?
Reply to this e-mail if you’re interested in the above.
Know somebody who’d also like that? Share my newsletter and point them in my direction. I’ll give you a beer/coffee (gotta keep that gut slim, na?) if you’re ever in Brașov.
Offer 1 is detailed up on LinkedIn.
Offers 2 and 3 are detailed up on LinkedIn. But you can also find them here:
I’m open for consultancy services. Just reply to this e-mail if you’re interested.
Cheers
If this was the first, but also last time we meet: Thank you.
I write for myself, but you reading my writing gives it additional meaning. I literally could not resonate without you.